2009年5月19日 7:9 wanna smile ?? come in (383 個評論)
- Hussain
- 24, 卡達
wanna smile ?? come in
LET US SMILE TOGETHER
GUYS AND GIRLS NO MATTER WHAT U DO OR WHAT IS UR RELIGEN
LET US JUST MAKE EACH OTHER SMILE
LET US SHARE JOKES I'LL START FIRST
((
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
))
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
((
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
))
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
***************
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
**************
The First 3 Years of Marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors LISTENS
****************
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
************
who is next ??
let us share smiles :-)
GUYS AND GIRLS NO MATTER WHAT U DO OR WHAT IS UR RELIGEN
LET US JUST MAKE EACH OTHER SMILE
LET US SHARE JOKES I'LL START FIRST
((
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
))
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
((
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
))
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
***************
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
**************
The First 3 Years of Marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors LISTENS
****************
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
************
who is next ??
let us share smiles :-)
2009年6月11日 16:20Why Dogs Shouldn't Use Computers
John
54, 奧古斯塔, 喬治亞州, 美國
He’s distracted by cats chasing his mouse.
SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing www.purina.com instead of working.
The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears, "You’ve Got Mail."
It’s too messy to "mark" every Web site he visits.
The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
He can’t stick his head out of Windows XP.
SIT and STAY were hard enough; CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
Saliva-coated floppy disks refuse to work.
Three words: carpal paw syndrome.
Involuntary tail wagging is a dead give-away that he’s browsing www.purina.com instead of working.
The fire hydrant icon is simply too frustrating.
He can’t help attacking the screen when he hears, "You’ve Got Mail."
It’s too messy to "mark" every Web site he visits.
The FETCH command isn’t available on all platforms.
He can’t stick his head out of Windows XP.
2009年6月13日 21:17The farmer's day in court
John
54, 奧古斯塔, 喬治亞州, 美國
A farmer who’s been involved in a terrible road accident with a large truck ended up in court fighting for a big compensation claim.
"I understand you’re claiming damages for the injuries you’re supposed to have suffered?" Stated the counsel for the insurance company.
"Yes, that’s right," replied the farmer, nodding his head.
"You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied, ’I’ve never felt better in my life.’ Is that the case?"
"Yeah, but" stammered the farmer.
"A simple yes or no will suffice," counsel interrupted quickly.
"Yes," Replied the farmer.
Then it was the turn of the farmer’s counsel to ask him questions. "Please tell the court the exact circumstance of events following the accident when you made your statement of health," his lawyer said.
"Certainly," replied the farmer. "After the accident my horse was thrashing around with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along, takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead. Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots him dead too. Then he come straight over to me and asked me how I was feeling. Now... what the heck would you have said to him?"
"I understand you’re claiming damages for the injuries you’re supposed to have suffered?" Stated the counsel for the insurance company.
"Yes, that’s right," replied the farmer, nodding his head.
"You claim you were injured in the accident, yet I have a signed police statement that says that when the attending police officer asked you how you were feeling, you replied, ’I’ve never felt better in my life.’ Is that the case?"
"Yeah, but" stammered the farmer.
"A simple yes or no will suffice," counsel interrupted quickly.
"Yes," Replied the farmer.
Then it was the turn of the farmer’s counsel to ask him questions. "Please tell the court the exact circumstance of events following the accident when you made your statement of health," his lawyer said.
"Certainly," replied the farmer. "After the accident my horse was thrashing around with a broken leg and my poor old dog was howling in pain. This cop comes along, takes one look at my horse and shoots him dead. Then he goes over to my dog, looks at him and shoots him dead too. Then he come straight over to me and asked me how I was feeling. Now... what the heck would you have said to him?"
2009年6月14日 23:41Blonde Guy Joke
John
54, 奧古斯塔, 喬治亞州, 美國
Three construction workers were eating lunch at the top of a 30 story skyscraper framework. The first, a Mexican, opens up his lunch bucket and exclaims "Burritos again! If I have to eat another burrito for lunch, I'm jumping off this skyscraper!"
The Irish worker opens his lunch bucket and exclaims, "Cornbeef and cabbage again! If I have to eat cornbeef and cabbage one more time, I'm jumping off this skyscraper.
The blond guy, also on the construction team, opens up his lunch box and exclaims "Hot dogs and coleslaw again! If I have to eat hotdogs and cole slaw again, I'm jumping off this skyscraper."
The next day at lunch, the Mexican worker opens his lunch box, screams, and then jumps off the skyscraper. The Irish worker opens up his lunch box, screams and jumps off the skyscraper as well. The blonde guy opens up his lunch bucket, screams and jumps off the skyscraper following his co-workers example.
At the joint funeral for the three men, the widows, in tears lamented the passing of their husbands. The Mexican woman wept and said "If I had known he didn't like burrittos, I would have fixed him something differernt for his lunch."
The Irishman's wife heaved great sobs and cried "Had I known he disliked cornbeef and cabbage so much, I would have gladly made him something different too."
As those attending the funeral looked at the blonde guy's wife and waited for her to speak, she spoke defensiviely with a harsh scowl.
"Don't look at me.... He packed his own lunch every day...."
The Irish worker opens his lunch bucket and exclaims, "Cornbeef and cabbage again! If I have to eat cornbeef and cabbage one more time, I'm jumping off this skyscraper.
The blond guy, also on the construction team, opens up his lunch box and exclaims "Hot dogs and coleslaw again! If I have to eat hotdogs and cole slaw again, I'm jumping off this skyscraper."
The next day at lunch, the Mexican worker opens his lunch box, screams, and then jumps off the skyscraper. The Irish worker opens up his lunch box, screams and jumps off the skyscraper as well. The blonde guy opens up his lunch bucket, screams and jumps off the skyscraper following his co-workers example.
At the joint funeral for the three men, the widows, in tears lamented the passing of their husbands. The Mexican woman wept and said "If I had known he didn't like burrittos, I would have fixed him something differernt for his lunch."
The Irishman's wife heaved great sobs and cried "Had I known he disliked cornbeef and cabbage so much, I would have gladly made him something different too."
As those attending the funeral looked at the blonde guy's wife and waited for her to speak, she spoke defensiviely with a harsh scowl.
"Don't look at me.... He packed his own lunch every day...."
2009年6月11日 12:12Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Your dog of course!
If you don’t believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, see who is really happy to see you!