2009年5月19日 7:9 wanna smile ?? come in (383 個評論)
- Hussain
- 24, 卡達
wanna smile ?? come in
LET US SMILE TOGETHER
GUYS AND GIRLS NO MATTER WHAT U DO OR WHAT IS UR RELIGEN
LET US JUST MAKE EACH OTHER SMILE
LET US SHARE JOKES I'LL START FIRST
((
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
))
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
((
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
))
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
***************
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
**************
The First 3 Years of Marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors LISTENS
****************
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
************
who is next ??
let us share smiles :-)
GUYS AND GIRLS NO MATTER WHAT U DO OR WHAT IS UR RELIGEN
LET US JUST MAKE EACH OTHER SMILE
LET US SHARE JOKES I'LL START FIRST
((
A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.
))
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
((
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!
))
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
***************
Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
**************
The First 3 Years of Marriage
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors LISTENS
****************
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
************
who is next ??
let us share smiles :-)
2009年5月20日 7:42Re: wanna smile ?? come in
prettyjean29
35, 安傑利斯, 菲律賓
hahaha im going to laugh not smile Hussain.........love it,nice joke.
thanks you for makingus smile.
thanks you for makingus smile.
2009年5月26日 7:43Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
I will do as what you do. If I do maybe I will be as handsome as you. So I will keep on smiling.
2009年5月26日 18:29Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
yah and u r handsome too
keep smiling :-)
keep smiling :-)
2009年5月26日 18:36Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Oh thank you and see you back online. I am not as handsome as you are. I will keep smiling. What is the time in Qatar now?
2009年5月27日 6:46Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
now it's 945 am
u r welcome
keep smiling:-)
u r welcome
keep smiling:-)
2009年5月27日 6:49Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Thank you for your information. The time in my country here is 2.45pm. I have not started smiling today my friend.
2009年5月27日 6:52Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
just say chiece
start smiling :-)
start smiling :-)
2009年5月27日 6:55Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
I am hungry now that is why I haven't start smiling. I will smile when my stomach is full. hahaha....
2009年5月30日 12:23Re: wanna smile ?? come in
more than smile !! 2009年6月2日 17:32Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Thought I shared these ones....
She's Dumb:
Yo momma is so dumb, she sat for an hour and a half trying to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Yo momma is so dumb, she runs out and checks her mail box every time AOL tells her, "You've got mail!"
Yo momma is so dumb, she was driving to Disneyland only to see a sign that said, "Disneyland, left." So she turned around and went home.
Yo momma is so dumb, she sat at a stop sign for three weeks waiting for it to turn green.
Yo momma is so dumb, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo momma is so dumb, you can blow in one ear and feel the breeze out the other side.
ha ha ha ha ha ha...................
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I've got mail!"
She's Dumb:
Yo momma is so dumb, she sat for an hour and a half trying to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Yo momma is so dumb, she runs out and checks her mail box every time AOL tells her, "You've got mail!"
Yo momma is so dumb, she was driving to Disneyland only to see a sign that said, "Disneyland, left." So she turned around and went home.
Yo momma is so dumb, she sat at a stop sign for three weeks waiting for it to turn green.
Yo momma is so dumb, she got hit by a parked car.
Yo momma is so dumb, you can blow in one ear and feel the breeze out the other side.
ha ha ha ha ha ha...................
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his beautiful, blond, female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it, looked inside, slammed it shut, and stormed back into her house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox, again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came again. She marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions, the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps telling me I've got mail!"
2009年6月21日 22:55Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
John
54, 奧古斯塔, 喬治亞州, 美國
Yo mama so fat she fell into the Grand Canyon and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat when she got on the pay scales at the mall, the little slip of paper came out and it read, "One at a time please!"
Yo mama so fat, when she gets on the elevator and pushes the "up" button, the elevator goes DOWN.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the buffet restaurant, they close their doors when they see her coming.
Yo mama so fat when she got on the pay scales at the mall, the little slip of paper came out and it read, "One at a time please!"
Yo mama so fat, when she gets on the elevator and pushes the "up" button, the elevator goes DOWN.
Yo mama so fat when she goes to the buffet restaurant, they close their doors when they see her coming.
2009年8月24日 9:22Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
Poem written by an angry wife to his husband
I wrote ur name on sand, it got washed
I wrote ur name in air, it was blown away then
I wrote ur name in my heart,and i got heart attack
God saw me hungry, he created pizza
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi
He saw mw in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems,he created you
Twinkle, twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once u know what u are
Mental hospital is not so far
The rain makes all things beautiful
The grass and flowers too
If rains makes all things beautiful
Why it doesn't it rain on you?
Roses are red,violets are blue
Monkey's like you should be kept in zoo
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you!!!
I wrote ur name on sand, it got washed
I wrote ur name in air, it was blown away then
I wrote ur name in my heart,and i got heart attack
God saw me hungry, he created pizza
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi
He saw mw in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems,he created you
Twinkle, twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once u know what u are
Mental hospital is not so far
The rain makes all things beautiful
The grass and flowers too
If rains makes all things beautiful
Why it doesn't it rain on you?
Roses are red,violets are blue
Monkey's like you should be kept in zoo
Don't feel so angry, you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you!!!
2009年8月26日 2:25Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
When I Read About The Evils Of Drinking...I Gave Up Reading.
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.
Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."
Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.
Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !
My Grandfather Is Eighty And Still Doesn't Need Glasses... He Drinks Straight Out Of The Bottle.
You Know Your kids Have Grown Up When: Your Daughter Begins To Put On Lipstick.. Or Your Son Starts To Wipe It Off.
Sign In A Bar: "Those Of You Who Are Drinking To Forget, Please Pay In Advance."
Sign In Driving School: If Your Wife Wants To Learn To Drive, Don't Stand In Her Way.
Behind Every Great Man, There Is A Surprised Woman.
The Reason Men Lie Is Because Women Ask So Many Questions.
Getting Caught Is The Mother Of Invention.
Laugh And The World Laughs With You, Snore And You sleep Alone.
The Surest Sign That Intelligent Life Exists Elsewhere In The Universe Is The Fact That It Has Never Tried To Contact Us.
Sign At A Barber's Saloon In Detroit: We Need Your Heads To Run Our Business.
A Traffic Slogan: Don't Let Your Kids Drive If They are Not Old Enough Or Else They Will Never Be.
Sign In A Restaurant: All Drinking Water In This Establishment Has Been Personally Passed By The Manager.
Sign On A Famous Beauty Parlor Window: Don't Whistle At The Girls Going Out From Here. She May Be Your Grandmother !
2009年8月26日 2:33Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
PS... I FORGOT TO POS THE TITTLE... LOL...
SOME HUMOROUS SIGN ADS
Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... cheap....... ....no strings attached.
Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.
SOME HUMOROUS SIGN ADS
Advertisement In A Long Island Shop: Guitar, for sale....... cheap....... ....no strings attached.
Ad.. In Hospital Waiting Room: Smoking Helps You Lose Weight ... One Lung At A Time!
Seen on a bulletin board: Success Is Relative. More The Success, More The Relatives.
2009年9月1日 17:56Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
Life really boils down
to 2 questions...
1. Should I get a dog.....?
OR...
2. Should I have children?
Now that I made you smile, pass it on to someone else
who needs a laugh today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just to let you know
I'm thinking of you today.
No matter what situations life throws at you...
No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem..
Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
You're laughing aren't you?
That's good 'cause my job here is done!
Have a great day and remember to give thanks....
Cats are so dramatic!!
to 2 questions...
1. Should I get a dog.....?
OR...
2. Should I have children?
Now that I made you smile, pass it on to someone else
who needs a laugh today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just to let you know
I'm thinking of you today.
No matter what situations life throws at you...
No matter how long and treacherous your journey may seem..
Remember there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
You're laughing aren't you?
That's good 'cause my job here is done!
Have a great day and remember to give thanks....
Cats are so dramatic!!
2009年9月26日 19:10Re: wanna smile ?? come in
just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1, 387, 258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15, 000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363, 214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ’Under God’ on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies!
I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144, 000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late!
I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I can’t sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
I can’t touch any woman’s purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.
I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1, 387, 258th time.
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15, 000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363, 214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won’t crawl in my back seat when I’m pumping gas.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ’Under God’ on their cans.
I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.
I can no longer drive my car because I can’t buy gas from certain gas companies!
I can’t do any gardening because I’m afraid I’ll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144, 000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late!
2009年10月16日 0:38Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
DON'T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Bcoz my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!
OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. On their first night both were crying - why??? Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Bcoz my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I'll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!
OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl. On their first night both were crying - why??? Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.
2009年10月20日 11:43Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor!!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly.
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor!!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.
DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed."
Dentist: "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly.
2009年10月26日 19:14Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man? Daughter on the cover of cosmo. Son on the cover of sports illustrated. Mistress on the cover of playboy and . Wife on the cover of "missing persons
RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!
SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented? To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
What makes a happy man? Daughter on the cover of cosmo. Son on the cover of sports illustrated. Mistress on the cover of playboy and . Wife on the cover of "missing persons
RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!
SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented? To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.
2009年11月18日 17:9Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
~ Santa: What do you want to become in your next life?
Banta: A cockroach.
Santa: Why?
Banta: My wife is not scared of me but too scared of cockroach
Santa: What is the difference between “complete and finish”?
Banta: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!
Banta: A cockroach.
Santa: Why?
Banta: My wife is not scared of me but too scared of cockroach
Santa: What is the difference between “complete and finish”?
Banta: When you marry a right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished !!!!!
2009年11月24日 11:39Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
dsmile
95, Makati City, 菲律賓
yeah jst smile.... makes us all beautiful always... hehehehe
2009年11月24日 12:55Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
rosemari
33, 耶路撒冷, 以色列
yeah, hope thank's n takecare over der, keep up good.
2009年11月25日 16:0Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
rosemari
33, 耶路撒冷, 以色列
hahhahhahhahah cuteee hahha
2009年5月19日 14:6Re: wanna smile ?? come in
The Sharing of Marriage
The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered
(Continue below - This is great)
'THE TEETH.
.
The old man placed order for one hamburger, French fries and a drink.
He unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half, placing one half in front of his wife.
He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.
He took a sip of the drink, his wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them . As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them were looking over and whispering.
Obviously they were thinking, 'That poor old couple - all they can afford is one meal for the two of them.'
As the man began to eat his fries a young man came to the table and politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old man said, they were just fine - they were used to sharing everything.
People closer to the table noticed the little old lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.
Again, the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old woman said 'No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything.'
Finally, as the old man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food and asked 'What is it you are waiting for?'
She answered
(Continue below - This is great)
'THE TEETH.
.
2009年5月19日 22:7Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Ha ha ha ha. Yea, I really love not just to smile but also laugh every minute of my life. LOL That's why I love funny stories. ha ha ha LOL
2009年5月20日 7:44Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
prettyjean29
35, 安傑利斯, 菲律賓
hahaha.nice too.......
thank you!
thank you!
2009年5月20日 8:27Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Ha ha ha ha
You are welcome
You are welcome
2009年5月20日 11:6Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Ha ha ha ha ha LOL LOL
2009年5月20日 11:49Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Yea, ha ha ha
Take care too.
Take care too.
2009年5月19日 18:10Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Ah! Ha Ha...Don't even know where to begin...well, first off, I like the sharing part. I think people tend to forget the real value of sharing most especially when you have the means to do it.
The socond part is, not with "THE TEETH" though...that's just yikes! I may love somebody that much but HOLY GUACAMOLE! not with that! :-)
The socond part is, not with "THE TEETH" though...that's just yikes! I may love somebody that much but HOLY GUACAMOLE! not with that! :-)
2009年5月20日 7:46Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
prettyjean29
35, 安傑利斯, 菲律賓
your right Janette i can share only my underwear..........to my husband.if he share my bra thats another thing...things that questionable.hahahaha
2009年5月20日 7:55Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
prettyjean29
35, 安傑利斯, 菲律賓
hahahha yes,im doing that Hussain.tnx
2009年5月20日 11:56Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
2009年5月21日 5:38Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
no....i don't go for guys anymore. Girls are better.
2009年5月21日 5:41Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
prettyjean29
35, 安傑利斯, 菲律賓
hahaha
2009年5月19日 18:33Re: wanna smile ?? come in
John
54, 奧古斯塔, 喬治亞州, 美國
An Irish priest is transferred to Texas. Father O'Malley rose from his bed and discovered it was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied, "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to first notify the next of kin."
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station.
The conversation went like this:
"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St. Brigid's. There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Father O'Malley then replied, "Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to first notify the next of kin."
2009年5月20日 12:28Re: wanna smile ?? come in
How to Tell the gender of a Fly
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?"
She asked.
"Hunting Flies"
He responded.
"Oh. ! Killing any?"
She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone."
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her
husband stalking around with a fly swatter
"What are you doing?"
She asked.
"Hunting Flies"
He responded.
"Oh. ! Killing any?"
She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked.
"How can you tell them apart?"
He responded,
"3 were on a beer can,
2 were on the phone."
2009年5月21日 5:43Re: Re: wanna smile ?? come in
prettyjean29
35, 安傑利斯, 菲律賓
hahah nice one too..........
thanks im laughing.....hahaha
thanks im laughing.....hahaha
2009年5月20日 12:32Re: wanna smile ?? come in
John
54, 奧古斯塔, 喬治亞州, 美國
A Priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss their experiences...
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well, " he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start..."
Seven days later, they're all together to discuss their experiences...
Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first. "Well, " he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and praising Jesus."
They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start..."
2009年5月20日 20:32Re: wanna smile ?? come in
2009年5月20日 20:37Re: wanna smile ?? come in
John
54, 奧古斯塔, 喬治亞州, 美國
A man and his wife have a terrible argument, with the volume of their voices so loud they would shame a police siren (really, that loud!). About an hour later, the woman comes downstairs after sulking in their bedroom. She finds her husband sitting on the sofa with their marriage license and a magnifying glass in his hands.
"What are you doing?" She sniffs. "Reliving the day when we got married?"
"Hell no!" He replied. "I'm looking for the expiration date."
"What are you doing?" She sniffs. "Reliving the day when we got married?"
"Hell no!" He replied. "I'm looking for the expiration date."
2009年5月20日 21:5Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Old Woman and Her New Hat
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat tight
so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam.
I do not intend to be forward
but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands
to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are
not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down,
then back up at the man
and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there
is 85 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship
holding her hat tight
so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said,
"Pardon me, madam.
I do not intend to be forward
but did you know that your dress
is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady.
"I need both my hands
to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are
not wearing any panties
and your privates are exposed!"
said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down,
then back up at the man
and replied,
"Sir, anything you see down there
is 85 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"
2009年5月19日 18:16Re: wanna smile ?? come in
Good JOb!