When success rides our head...!

thankyou for the wise words but none of this applys to me im not rich noor famous just down to earth kind clever lady bye for now toni

hi my friend you dont have to be rich in money terms so I would say that you are very rich in knowledge
michael l

thankyou my dear friend micheal you brighten al your friends day with you kindness

when you have been through the loop of degrading yourself as she did . I am not surrprised that she couldent trust people around herself as the recession dawned on her anger took over with that came loneleyness and to overcome this she lost it and this lead to he death

We are lonely at the top, Mikey.

Yes it can be lonley at the top ,we al strive for premoton in our work place its ok on the ladder but on the way up it becomes harder less friends that are worth haveing and others you would like as friends your mind tells you that what if I make friends and the next day i have to sack them .Not always a good place to be my friend

Clearly she defined success with "fame", "glamor" and "money". That's her biggest mistake! I can be successful even if I'm not rich or famous. We all have goals but once we put the value of achieving a certain goal over our self-respect, family or loved ones then we wouldn't be successful even if we achieved that goal. Living a successful life means not only career-wise but it includes all aspects of life.

Nada: The problem with small town people is that they dream big. And as the success comes at a price they sometimes go all out to reach the desired level. So, it was certainly not the self respect. For her success was rising to the top.

Honestly, what i want to say is that, I could not totally judge the girl,i guess she just grabbed all the opportunities in her way,and unintentionally she didnt know what's the most valuable and most important between her career and the people around her..it's not her head that leads her to go down...due to her big dreams,she became blind and over excited on what her career may bring to her life.
Therefore, in aiming our goals in life, we should know from the beginning of our journey to identify our own NEEDS and WANTS in life....Putting our own needs and wants into our heads will lead us to know what would we choose,it might not all be right moves/steps we will take but atleast we have the HEART that dictates what to follow because in the first place,we know our wants and needs.
Thats all.
Thank you. God bless.

You are right, Jjhay. Often, people can't differentiate between what they need and what they want. Sometimes the difference becomes too wide to be achievable and if they ever succeed, they lose their head as well.

when i read it,i can say i admire her at frist,her confidence is the most what i admire,but i think whenever everyone need friends ,no one can live withoue anyone.when we happy fris can enjoying with us together,and wnen we have prolems they also can help us,at least can company with us.

True friends are the best assets. We should never swap them with anything in the world.

Pankaj i strongly believe that it is very easy to be famous but always very hard to keep that fame forever... For doing that the person surely needs some extra-ordinary qualities. One must have self mastery to do so ..i think the girl in your story initially was trying to achieve her dream........ the dream to be a super model...after initial success she started living her life frm the outside rather than frm inside....so along the path she had to suffered those setbacks.....sacrifices as you said...victim of her ego and circumstances. Here she can take her life in two different prospective one is negative and the other is positive...if she take it as negative than surely the result will be ZERO....but if she can take this as....... ppl grow most frm their greatest challenges, this way than things will be different....as human being we have so many choice to build our dream house. One should always try to learn frm one's mistake...and by taking lesson frm his or her mistake if someone one rebuild their life and start seeing dreams again i am sure no one can stop their SUCCESS
with love......
Vasu

I agree with you. It may not be that difficult to be famous. But once you have achieved that height .... you spend all your energy to remain there, which is not easy. 100 more people will be vying to take on your position. Everyone around you becomes your rival and you become alone in the crowd. This situation is very frustrating. All you can do to sustain yourself is to excel in your job .... as long as you want to stay. You have to be and do what others can't even dream of.
But modeling is a very deceiving profession and it has a very limited shelf-life.

smiless...i too agree in a certain extent with you..yes modeling is a very very deceiving profession...so one should always give a hard thought before coming to this profession and make sure bout himself or herself bout their inner strength bout the situation what they may face...and how they will react according to the situation...one shouldnt take it as a fun making profession or a profession where one can lead a wild life...one should be always very serious about what they do...taking something only as a means to become rich and famous sometime doesn't work...how satisfied you are by doing that job is the real thing.....this is what i feel
Vasu

it's not bad to be ambitious & aim for our dreams in life so long as we don't step on anyone in attaining what we want as she did. it's alright to dream big, but we must not compromise our self worth & the people around us, coz if we do we will never be happy. money isn't everything. friends & loved ones still matters the most to me.

She was willing to work on a dream, what she didn't count was what that dream might cause her. If at the top of the ladder, she found even more horrible stairs to climb.. and yet she chose to climb it which in the process leaves her nothing but an empty shell of the woman she once was.. then, its a choice she made. It is neither arrogance and over confidence, I find nothing wrong with having self-esteem either.. I say, it was a choice. She didn't count it to turn out bad but she did have an idea that somehow if she persist in that endeavor, in that choice.. it will sooner or later turn out sour. And getting herself out from that pit she calls "her success" is yet a choice she has to make.. for in the end, it is what you choose to be and what you choose to do that makes you.. not the mistakes of the past nor the ugliness of your current situation.. it is what you do right then, right now.. that will give credence to your past, and give yourself a faceable future.

its all blabber though.. :P

You are right to much extent, Desire. It's a matter of choice, yes!
I don't agree that it's possible for someone to be utterly unaware of the repercussions of rough behavior with their colleagues, though, but what to do if they close their eyes from these facts? They assume (in their arrogance) that they are the best and nobody can replace them. That's how the never-ending story of downfall begins.

Momey, fame, status...many ppl view them as symbol of success. However, there are always things that you cannot lose when you chase them, such as self-respect and love. You lose them, you lose everything!

By "that you cannot lose when you chase them ..." -I think you wanted to say instead "that you tend to lose....". I agree with you. It's your values that are at stake when you are running blindly to get on to your target. At times, I feel that one should not be over-ambitious. If we reach a higher position that should be only on account of our hard work, determination and eligibility.

Although it did not happen, but there are so many of the speech. In short, people have to learn to balance on the right. You said to do? I said, life may not have moved, there is no victory, no other things, but you can not not be friends. Friends are very important. Therefore, it is necessary to know how to learn to criticisms made, and know how to learn to get along. Friends know! You will not be too far out of the misunderstanding.

There's no replacement of good friends.

the most important part of this entire story to me is defining SUCCESS. Generally if we let the WORLD define Success we can never be content. Instead of asking important questions like when is enough really enough or am I willing to give up my ethics, or my family for the Worlds idea of "success" or can I be contented with what I have at some point. These are the people who are truly successful in my eyes. I see many who chase fortune or fame and end up much as this young lady does a Hollowed out core of her former self. The people who have mastered being content with what they have are truly successful and living the good life.

Kevin: How many of us know where we have to reach, what it means to us, how to reach there and even if we do, is it our true destination? To me a man who is happiest of all is most successful. Whether he has money, fame and power or not ... is not a question ... because these things are insignificant for him if he's happy and content. There's no other secret formula for success.

If you have set a reference point for your success, you work harder and eventually reach it, that may still not be success in others' views. So, will you be called successful? And if others are to set your reference point then they should get you to that point, too.

i strongly believe that EGO when it gets bloated can kill a person. as the bible says "the meek shall inherit the earth"--the mistakes made can make people either "i do not care" types or make them languish in their misery; in fact even enjoying it--"i am like this only"--self pity.
the positive peole take mistakes as learning experiences and do not find faults with anyone, including themselves--and they come out winners always
ucm

it was the antourage (hope i spelled right) we are, constantly, without even noticing, influenced more or less by the people around us! whe we are surrounded by so many stereotypes, we gain a little from each one's behaviour, tastes, and most important, perceptions...we are all the time indangered of losing owr own way, our originality, the thing that makes us individuals and unique...and that's sad...so sad...

Definitely, our surroundings influence our lifestyle, our way of thinking and behaving positively and negatively, reacting to a given situation, and of course, our own discourses to the life situations, not necessarily favoring others (without waiting to see what influence they will bring to our own lives).

but then, what does it matter if we considerate others' failures or not? shall we follow our path blindfolded? shall we stop trying to reach the top, when maybe we already reached it ?

"Poor man wanna be rich,
rich man wanna be king
And a king ain't satisfied
till he rules everything."

(Bruce Springsteen-Badlands)

Literally, you live in the body of your beliefs. You perceive through the body of your beliefs. Your beliefs can increase your vision or diminish it. They can increase or diminishyour hearing, or any sense function.

YOU have the concious mind for a good reason. You are not at the mercyy of uncouncious drives unless you conciously acquisce to them Your presant feelings and expectations can always be used to check your progress, if you do not like your experience, then you must alter the nature of your concious thoughts and expectations , you must alter the kind of messages that you are sending through your thoughts to your own body, to friends and associates..

im pretty down to earth kind of girl,so succes in life or in work can't never change me!!

I'm sorry to say that we all tend to be victims of our heritage, (to a degree). The options and priorities we pursue in life are those we learn from the family and those with whom we have developed our world view.

You're absolutely right as usual, Lew. But, tell me why people have greater expectations from you than anyone else? Is it not our judgement about our own self that we decide to exceed their expectations and in the lust for more we tend to lose what all we had?

and the Winner is DANA !(yes i know this isn't a contest) 'cause she was the only one smart enough to make a comparation relating to herself! so congratulations 'cause u did sth neither of us could...to give a real life example! and what's better than your own self? as for the others, you're talking about generally terms...(including me...i did the same mistake, but, i'm the youngest so i don't count :P)

WE are all born in a state a grace and all die in a state of grace ,Conformity to norm out e we learn in school yet everyone is unique and this is what can alter the pattern of our being,we are inhanced and influenced and exposed without foundation reflection and direction the struggle becomes clouded I read there is nothing more arrogant then a man who picks up an idea and exploits it as though it was never done of before.

There is a term for when we have a surge of impowerment Unsure what it is but it is usauly temporary till we balance out accept our task and position how unfortuanate .

if you keep using the damn WE, WE will NOT learn anything! i believe these discussions are made so WE can socialize and share real-life experiences...this way WE won't use terms and expressions so hard to be understood! so referring to ME , all I wanna do is study, learn enough , accumulate enough informations to help me live my life, but also to pass on to the others so this world can live on! finding love (wich i did) and keeping it, would be the perfect (and a little crazy) life for ME! and if life gets boring I will make it interesting! but being the richest or the most succesful, these are purposes that are so hard to achieve, and that could take ME more than a lifetime!

Even rich men can live a modest frugal caring life ,maybe its modesty or self thought it may all go away as a person who has no money exceeds there budgets and lifestyle choices in expenses and decicions without regard to those in the destructive path . I too am learning hope to always be that way I heard the 5 most people your around the most influences you become like them ..

LOL I wouldn't use "we" if I read your comment before posting :)

I think "we" (lol for the last time I'll say it , I promise hehehe) don't want to talk about ourselves so we wouldn't be called self-centered or something.

I had more than one chance to achieve my goal i.e to study abroad but I turned it down because I didn't want to do any sacrifice ( my family , my mom who needs me besides her, and also because of some other reasons). I'm happy with my choice and I don't regret it. Success to me is when I'm happy and satisfied with most aspects of my life as a human being, as a worker, as a daughter, as a sister and as a friend.

now that's what i like to call a great perspective! eat this formality! now i feel like a real person's talking! well so i can see you made a wise decision....love and friendship^^ it's better to have people who u can trust near you ! BRAVO!

ooh thank you Brandon :) so do I get to win too ?lol :))

Yeah , I have some members of my family in another country and some in another reigion. I haven't seen my aunt , uncles or cousins for many many years. I don't even remember my cousins' names so I know how it feels like being lonely and away from your family. I don't want to do that to my mom or my sisters. Nothing in life is worth leaving my family.

oh yeah! u win my respect^^! oh and best wishes!

oh...my...God...you're like a walking wikipedia!(thadd) i'm so sorry...u give such formal answers...there's no life in ur words...no passion...no color! it's like i'm reading a computer's calculations! i'm really sorry and with all do respect i must disagree with you! you're wrong but from the right reasons! try to think with your heart , with your sence of personality...what happened to the ones that put themselves in every situation before giving a fare answer? i don't want definitions, i don't want another teacher, i want a normal person, like me, tired of usual work , who came home and has a personal view over the matter! damn TV it really destroys our imagination ...

OK MY sister died as I had reached my $40,000 a year plus gratuity and medical insurance job as i was 23 she was 15 in the wrong crowd i had moved from home and also went to college ,my dad at that time was off from work and using alcohol my mom was divorceing him , I currently work in her failing business a mexican restaurant as a waiter ...My sister fell from the back of a truck and crushed her brain stem so as get grace state and intimate breath eat this terms circles anger acceptance bargain ing anger ..

oh....doesn't it feel better when u share? like in group terapy! (well u can pay next time :P)----anyway i'm still not convinced if you are really true or just trying to make a point :D since you're 42 and have a network connection ... so blah blah blah...if u're really true u made a point, i accept it but it's just one more reason for you to keep fighting and kick life in a soft spot (hehe)!

ITS SINCERE ,maybe you prescribe pills to me? I cannot barely remember first what i wrote book style like oh our mind sets our destiny pretty much our attitude as to we are what we eat ,I numb and you got me so enjoy the victory there was no bloodshed and i enjoy format..and responses so thank you ! Your very intellectual as well somewhat i say a rebel no unique!

hehe nice move! finally i got the real You ! the rebel-ish kindda person you need to be! and i can see you do care about what others think^^ good luck!

Success could be evaluated differently from one person to another however the traits of being succesfull has to be backed up by strong principals. Cigarettes, Alcohol and (Coke) drugs, are clearly ways to destroy one's mind and body, that right there is the beginning of being unsuccesfull and evetually leads to bad outcomes in this case it was death. I beleive that her principals changed, for a model to even accept consuming cigarettes Alcohol and drugs obviously her evaluation of being successfull changed and so did the woman that was hungry to be a successfull supermodel

Success means different things to different people, but for me, it means being happy with myself. Not compromising my morals or integrity even if it would mean an "easier" life. Knowing and liking myself is better than any amount of money or fame.

oh...u said either something really great or something really bad^^ depending what you meant bu liking yourself (narcissism or just approving your current status)...BUT (damn buts) we can't always be on owr own :D wouldn't it be better if we had someone to share a different point of view about us? so WE (this time "we" was necessary) can compare and see if we're seeing ourselvez in the right way?
C'mon! i know a few dozen different opinions wouldn't hurt me!

I am no better than anyone else in this world and am certainly not self-centered. It's just that I am ok with who I am at this point in my life. I don't have alot of money but I do have a really great family and some good friends. I think that different opinions are very important, but being true to what I know is right for me matters too.

then, u said something great, something that only a few people realise in life!

Debra: There are not many who will buy your idea. In fact everybody (mostly) is longing to be rich, famous and powerful in this material world. That's ironic though.

Adel: She offered herself to these demeaning modes when she became lonely and frustrated, which was the resultant of her rude attitude to people around her. That's why I doubt that it was not success overpowering her.

I agree with you PG, I think leaving the most important people to her behind and looking for new friends who are obviously into Alcohol and Drug abuse to share her successwith. Success is not how she pictured it but as time went by she was over powered by means of having fun with bad company. As most young people who don't understand the long term affects which leads to addiction that becomes the # 1 priority in their life. They think I just wanna have some fun I'll never be an Alcoholic or a drug addict and that's where that viciuos cycle begins. I think that young lady never felt successfull as there was always something missing and she couldn't figure out what it was, she discovered habbits that lead her astray in a fragile state of her life she sadly let it slip away.

Adel: I feel success always remains a relative term no matter how much you get you find yourself behind someone else. I feel she never realized what success meant to her. And when she got what she strived for, she realized what not she had lost. On top she found her standing alone. That loneliness lead her to disgrace herself.

It is often said that you meet the same set of people on your downfall whom you met while reaching the top. But this time their attitude is exactly opposite of what it was when you were rising. How unfortunate!!

I think she did but from my personal experiences there is always someone pushing in the right direction, as well as having the same set of people on the way up then they became more ( bad ) people on the way down, as it is easier to make friends when you're successfull than not, I think she was at the point where she could not differentiate between good and bad people. what this story teaches me is to be carefull choosing who I would consider a friend as well as to keep my relationship with people decent (never burn your bridges) so my feelings don't turn into hatred towards them cause as this story illustrates she was wrong in leaving her good relations behind had she went back to them for help they probably would have told her what she doesn't want or like to hear. Good friends tell it like it is.

I like your saying: Never burn your bridges. Often it doesn't pay to burn the bridges behind you, especially when you have to come back (remember what goes up comes down?). *smiles*

I agree with you Adil....yes she must have missing something through out so she was looking for that missing something in a wrong way....other wise searching something within our self is not disastrous rather it makes a person perfect if you are searching by controlling your mind your body your soul and turning them to a right direction......But this can only happen with ppl who are poise..strong....and self controlled
which the poor girl was not
Lopa