我有一篇《滕王阁序》英文，大家帮忙品评一下6

呜呼！胜地不常，盛筵（yán）难再；兰亭已矣，梓（zǐ）泽丘墟。临别赠言，幸承恩于伟饯；登高作赋，是所望于群公。敢竭鄙怀，恭疏短引；一言均赋，四韵俱成。请洒潘江，各倾陆海云尔。

Ah! A beautiful scenic spot is rarely seen, and a sumptuous banquet like this one is even less likely to be held again. The grand gathering at the Orchid Pavillon is an event in history and the famous Jingu Garden is now in ruins. I have the good fortune to attend this feast and I would like to leave this farewell message at the time of parting. I count on all the gentlemen here to ascend the tower and contribute their writings. I humbly compose this short piece in all sincerity. Since every one of us is required to write a poem, the following is what I write:

　　滕王高阁临江渚，佩玉鸣鸾罢歌舞。
　　画栋朝飞南浦云，珠帘暮卷西山雨。
　　闲云潭影日悠悠，物换星移几度秋。
阁中帝子今何在？槛外长江空自流。

The lofty King Teng’s Tower overlooks the River.
The jade pendants tinkle, and the carriage bells jingle.
The banquet’s over, the guests are leaving, and the singing and the dancing have stopped.
In the morn the rosy clouds from the southern shore flit across the painted pillars.
In the eve the rain in the western mountains are drawn in by the red curtains.
The lazy clouds are reflected in the water and the days pass in leisure.
Things change and stars move;how many years have passed since the building of the Tower?
Where is its builder. King Yeng?
Only the River outside the railing flows to the east all by itself.